My boyfriend is a vampire!

Dear Advice Girl,

I recently found out that my boyfriend is a vampire. (NO JOKE!)

No matter how many times he tells me that he'll never EVER suck my blood, I'm still nervous around him.

I swear this isn't a joke! I love your advice and would never mock you! Please believe me!!

Signed,
   Zaza

Dear Zaza,

I totally believe that your boyfriend told you he was a vampire.

But, uh, he's probably not really one. He's probably just trying to compete with your massive crush on Edward Cullen. (Either that, or he has his own massive crush on Edward Cullen.)

If you want to test it out, keep asking him questions about what being a vampire is like. A real one will get all shy and walk away. A fake one will keep making stuff up.

Oh, and if you really are nervous around him - like for reasons other than the fact that he told you he's immortal - then get away from him. Vampire or not, a boyfriend you don't feel completely safe around is a bad boyfriend.

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